Do you have a minute?

The day in the office starts as usual: phone ringing, messages waiting attention on the desk, and deadlines looming.  You know that the tasks needing to be completed exceed the eight and a half hours you plan to work today.

Suddenly, a friend calls with startling news and a major life crisis. He needs a listening ear.  "Do you have a minute?" he asks and you know that the minute will turn into half an hour. What do you do?
Most of us would not say, "Sorry, I have all these projects I need to complete. Call me later." We would offer the listening ear that our friend so critically needs.

Life calls for split-second decisions. Some must be made on the fly. Others allow us to invest some forethought. Either way, choices speak to our deeply held priorities. Many of us act upon core beliefs without thinking about or naming them. For example, the person who pushes back the chair and closes the door holds a deep belief that "friends come first."

The person who promises to call the friend back at the end of the work day might hold the deep value that work takes precedence over personal issues. Perhaps the employee promised something to coworkers and now feels keenly responsible.  Inner conflict occurs when competing values demand attention, or when we ignore our deep inner beliefs.

When we choose actions that dishonor these ingrained values, we feel stress. Life imposes the values of others on us, and we feel pressured to choose by someone else's set of beliefs. That is where we get in trouble.If we are too busy to even know our deepest desires, it is difficult to act upon them.

Peace of mind can be found in spending some quiet time, away from distractions, thinking about your deeply held priorities. It helps to write them down.  Seeing them is also different from hearing them. Let them sit a day or two and return to them. Were you truly honest with yourself? Do the day-to-day choices you make for spending your time belie your deepest values?

The Great Thing

The world is changed forever because you are in it.
It certainly doesn't feel that way at the moment. Is it laziness or overwork or summer heat that leaves me wishing I could just skip Monday and go straight to Saturday? Self discipline kicks in, and I pour another cup of coffee and get moving.
The calendar is not cooperating again because I see another month is marching past while I strive to accomplish that Great Thing which seems to elude me today.
Perhaps the Great Thing happened yesterday and I missed it. Perhaps it was that charming phone call with a loved one where I listened without judgment. Maybe it was the plants I trimmed in the front yard that made the front of our home more pleasing to our neighbor's eye— as John Keats said, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever."
The world is changed forever because you are in it.

Longing to achieve something great

The dinner dishes are done, the evening walk complete. The list of chores looms large against the tantalizing options for mindless entertainment. How will I choose to spend the remainder of the evening? TV reality shows or laundry?  Checking Facebook or writing someone who is facing a major life challenge?
I talk to so many busy professionals during the day who are working as hard as they can, but still falling behind in their emails, appointments, and voice mails.  It's the second day of May and we are already booked solid through mid-June.  We  look for ways to maximize our effectiveness and achieve something great. But some days, I would be happy just to achieve something, however small.
I spoke to someone on the phone today who just needed to talk. I pushed back from the computer, and 15 minutes later, we both felt better.  I think I achieved something great.

Great expectations

The Dickens novel by this title includes some colorful characters, including an orphan who aspires to be a gentleman. What expectations govern your week?
Do expectations interfere with what reasonably can be accomplished thanks to the interruptions, errands, and obligations of today?
People like me who find themselves too busy frequently expect that they can fit more deeds into a day than is humanly possible. We have great expectations.
Count the hours in the day, and count the tasks on the list. Revise, edit, and see if you can let go of that "too busy" feeling" by giving yourself permission to have reasonable expectations instead  of great ones. You just may find that this allows you to do one thing great.

Be kind.

Who did you meet today? I mean who did you speak to that you never spoke to before? Did you add a smile to someone else's day? Perhaps you were kind to someone in line at the supermarket, or chatted in a friendly way while you waiting for an appointment.
What if that chance encounter provided the unknown other with just the energy they needed to go forward? 
Is kindness in such ample supply that we don't have to spread any more around? Are we in the habit of doing it out sparingly to strangers?
Or is kindness something we have to multiply by making an effort to demonstrate it in public? I suspect that the latter is true. If so, we can make a brighter world.

One of the best gifts to give

At this time of year, we rush and scurry to decorate, cook, clean, party, and fill the calendar with important stuff. (Or is it important?)
Today someone asked me to listen. I was simultaneously nodding and gesticulating to the Goodwill attendant and I was dropping off unneeded items (don't we have homes full of them, really?) The person on the phone did not know that I was soon driving to the next errand as I gave half an ear to her concerns. I am ashamed to admit this dual "listening."
Earlier in the day, a different phone call  held a different scenario. I sat motionless in the chair, stopping all activity, and I focused on the voice on the other end of the line. It was one hundred percent listening, even though the calendar tried to tempt me to "away! away! Do two things at once!"
Who in your day will request the gift of listening from you?
How willing will you be to offer the gift?
Listening is one of the best gifts you can give someone else this season.