The days are now shorter...

Happy December! I hope to savor every day of this marvelous month.
Is it possible? I don't know, but I am willing to try!
I am planning a progressive dinner for the block on which we live. It's a way of getting neighbors together and of connecting across households. We will have a prize for the most outrageous holiday sweater and one for the house with the most exterior lights.
As I plan and purchase snowman paper plates, cups and napkins, I savor with anticipation the conversations we will have.
Will you be shopping and wrapping and baking? My wish for you is that you will also be savoring, treasuring and delighting in each short December day.

How to edit

Take your evening and count the hours. Then count the number of activities you hope to cram into it. Many of us shave an hour of sleep off to accommodate a longer list of activities. Another percentage of us shave off two hours of sleep. Our lists really need doing!
Instead, it is possible to edit the list.  But how?
I find asking myself a series of questions helps me edit a list that is just too long to finish tonight:

·         What will matter most 10 years from now?

·         Will sacrificing sleep to "accomplish" more things cause me to be cranky, self absorbed and unkind to others?

·         Will shortening the list cause others around me suffer?

·         In what ways can I be of best service to my fellow human beings?

·         Am I being asked to let go?

·         What is the highest priority on the list?

·         Is there someone else who can help?

·         Is there someone who should be doing that task instead of me? Am I behaving as if I am the savior of the world? Am I insisting on having things done my way?

 

It's only October

Someone asked me about scheduling a meeting, and they said, "It's only October."
I immediately replied, "What?! Are you kidding? You mean it's already October!"
So much is in my point of view. When my cup is running over, and not with love but with appointments, I seem to watch the calendar slip out from underneath me like a throw rug on a slippery floor.
Ouch!  I just know I am going to wake up and it will be November. Then Spring. Then....
Wait a minute. I am rushing my days rather than savoring them. I am living not only tomorrow, but a year from Christmas. Do you know what I mean?
I want to learn to savor each day. I want to feel that fall breeze slipping into my window and welcome it. I want to truly notice this hour and this day.  Will you join me in that?

Work and play

For those of us transitioning into new jobs, the "busy" meter seems to crank up a notch. I thought I was busy before!

My daughter reminds me to think about the busy mother who works full time, goes to classes at night, and helps her three kids with homework.

Whether you are currently busy or not, chances are that you know someone busier than you are.  Does this encourage you to keep going when your energy level is diminishing?  It certainly keeps me from complaining about my full life.

If I could offer encouragement to every busy person, it would be this: find time to play.
We can't constantly perform well with our metaphorical meters cranked up to their highest levels all of the time.

What does play look like for you?
A book, a bath, a walk at the zoo? Time with friends or time alone? Whatever it is, be sure that you schedule an appointment for play, and keep it as if it were an appointment for a performance review with your new boss.

What inspires you to awe?

Oh, the healing, transformative power of a floral bouquet!

I begin to speed past it in the market, and suddenly freeze. I make a u-turn and take a few slow steps backward so that I can see it again.

“Ahhh” I can’t help saying.

Look at the artistic drama of the purples, yellows and whites! Each flower is so different, yet together they inspire awe.

What causes you to stop dead in your tracks and proclaim the beauty? There must be something. Several things must, if you are paying attention to the world around you. Ah, but there is the tricky part, isn’t it? How do we avoid rushing past beauty? How do we allow ourselves a pause to notice, and then to gasp. Who are we to be in the presence of such wonder? Or to paraphrase Nelson Mandela, who are we not to be? 

It is our duty to ourselves to stop, and really see what would call forth a reaction in us of childlike discovery.

“Buy the bouquet!” my husband proclaims. Oh I mustn’t. It is frivolous to spend money on something that won’t last.

Ah, but nothing lasts in this world. All thing pass, and change.

My husband buys me the bouquet.  And my momentary delight now travels with me as I leave the market with beauty in my grasp.

Is life so serious that I cannot allow myself a breather to cherish something lovely? My heart wells up in gratitude for a husband who understands better than I do my need to prolong these experiences of joyful amazement.

I carry beauty with me. 

As I remove the cellophane at home, I have an urge to go work in the garden, even though the tasks are ugly—pruning, clearing away debris, mulching, sweeping and weeding. The bouquet inspires me that the work I do now will generate more blossoms like the ones  now royally ensconced indoors.

They have inspired hope.

I forgot what I want

How many of us know what we really want?
Advertising gives us lots of ideas of what we "should" want; but each of us has a desire deep down inside—  a burning desire for something. What is it?

Is it to be loved? Is it to contribute to the common good? Is it to have a vacation in Paris? Is it to have physical health into old age?
And are our actions in sync with those desires?

How much time do you spend in a week thinking about your deepest desire? If you are like me, it is something slightly below your conscious consideration.
If you do nothing else today, take a full minute—60 seconds— in a very quiet place, and ask yourself what you most want. What do you most desire?
It is something nice to know. It will help you choose what activities you to today.

Do you have a minute?

The day in the office starts as usual: phone ringing, messages waiting attention on the desk, and deadlines looming.  You know that the tasks needing to be completed exceed the eight and a half hours you plan to work today.

Suddenly, a friend calls with startling news and a major life crisis. He needs a listening ear.  "Do you have a minute?" he asks and you know that the minute will turn into half an hour. What do you do?
Most of us would not say, "Sorry, I have all these projects I need to complete. Call me later." We would offer the listening ear that our friend so critically needs.

Life calls for split-second decisions. Some must be made on the fly. Others allow us to invest some forethought. Either way, choices speak to our deeply held priorities. Many of us act upon core beliefs without thinking about or naming them. For example, the person who pushes back the chair and closes the door holds a deep belief that "friends come first."

The person who promises to call the friend back at the end of the work day might hold the deep value that work takes precedence over personal issues. Perhaps the employee promised something to coworkers and now feels keenly responsible.  Inner conflict occurs when competing values demand attention, or when we ignore our deep inner beliefs.

When we choose actions that dishonor these ingrained values, we feel stress. Life imposes the values of others on us, and we feel pressured to choose by someone else's set of beliefs. That is where we get in trouble.If we are too busy to even know our deepest desires, it is difficult to act upon them.

Peace of mind can be found in spending some quiet time, away from distractions, thinking about your deeply held priorities. It helps to write them down.  Seeing them is also different from hearing them. Let them sit a day or two and return to them. Were you truly honest with yourself? Do the day-to-day choices you make for spending your time belie your deepest values?

Stretch yourself

I keep hearing the benefits of exercise from a wide range of sources. It can ward off everything from heart disease and diabetes to hypertension and stress. So why is it so difficult to put exercise into a daily routine? Perhaps it is because it offers one more thing I have to do when life is already speeding along with a thousand other demands.
I picked up a free app last week at Starbucks for "Pocket Yoga" with a great image of someone enjoying a superior stretch.  Now if I could just find the time to download the app.
Maybe I will get to it after my walk. 
People in my neighborhood look at me funny because I like to book-walk. I combine a beloved hobby— reading— with much needed exercise. Yes, I sometimes clonk my head on a low-hanging tree branch, but I have learned to keep an eye out just above the printed page for uneven sidewalks. Some people consider me a danger to others as I stride along with a nose in an interesting novel. Who knows what obstacle I might encounter.
Those of us wrapped up in busy lives sometimes take risks as we multitask.
What other solutions do busy people use to combine something they enjoy with something that is yet another "have to do"?

On fire

What are you on fire about? In California fire season is well underway. High temperatures combined with drought conditions exacerbate the situation. Firefighters are busy!
Think about flames for a minute. They can be out of control or they can also be valuable tools for roasting marshmallows or lighting a dark cabin.
Each person has a fire inside that fuels emotions which may at times get out of hand. Harnessed, the fires of our passions give impetus for fighting injustices.
May today you find illumination as you examine what burns within you. 

A Gold Medal and Martian Landing

In what activity might you qualify for a gold medal? Think about it. While you may have to look beyond sports, it is very likely that you excel in something.  And no, nagging is not the kind of activity we are looking for here.
For some reason, people find it difficult to see the best about themselves, erroneously figuring that to identify the best in us shows  a lack of humility. In actuality, to recognize the honest truth about one's giftedness is genuine humility. You call a spade a spade. 
Scientists celebrate the successful landing of Curiosity on Mars. Could this team be worthy of a gold medal? It would be false to deny the achievement. You certainly don't see scientists saying, "Oh, it was nothing." Let us give the team the honor and recognition they deserve.
We, too, can find a deeper sense of peace if we look for our own achievements worth celebrating. I am going to strive for a gold medal today in the art of listening. I've been practicing. Like a 100 meter dash, I may have a short window today in which to achieve my goal. Fortunately, I will have many opportunities to "compete."

The Great Thing

The world is changed forever because you are in it.
It certainly doesn't feel that way at the moment. Is it laziness or overwork or summer heat that leaves me wishing I could just skip Monday and go straight to Saturday? Self discipline kicks in, and I pour another cup of coffee and get moving.
The calendar is not cooperating again because I see another month is marching past while I strive to accomplish that Great Thing which seems to elude me today.
Perhaps the Great Thing happened yesterday and I missed it. Perhaps it was that charming phone call with a loved one where I listened without judgment. Maybe it was the plants I trimmed in the front yard that made the front of our home more pleasing to our neighbor's eye— as John Keats said, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever."
The world is changed forever because you are in it.

The heat is on!

Throughout the country, people are suffering through record-breaking, exceptional heat. Some days, when I walk from my air-conditioned car toward a store entrance, I feel as if I will melt into a puddle before I reach the door.  The sun is unrelenting and it is multiplied by asphalt.
I pause mid-stride. I just have to slow down. I can't move fast in this heat.
Perhaps slowing down is what we all need. Life speeds along, and we rush on to yet another task-filled day. People end up more stressed and less peaceful with the hectic pattern of modern life.
The heat forces me to take it down a notch. And that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Refreshing

Sometimes, web pages go haywire, slow down, or freeze midscreen. Fortunately, we have a refresh button to help reload the page.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a reload button for your day? It would be especially useful on the day you only made it half way through your important projects. Or on the day that fatigue caused you to stop working halfway through the afternoon to take up a mindless activity. At least you were moving, you reasoned. People could see you were on the job, but could not perceive that you were in need of a reset.
It would be nice if the giant webmaster in the sky would just reload the page for us. Fresh energy is difficult to find. Best wishes as you press on. 

Do Something Great

Yes, today is a day to do something great! What will it be?
As I was leaving church this morning, instead of saying, "Have a nice day!" to an elderly woman walking slowing from the service, I felt inspired  to say, "Do something great!" Isn't that what we are invted to do every day? Inside this otherwise ordinary-looking day is an opportunity to do something great.
I was reminded of Abraham Lincoln, who was once asked what he thought of the sermon. Pensively he responded that the preacher "didn't challenge me to do something great."
So what will it be? A kind word to a discouraged person can be great! Helping someone across the street can be great! Just being healthy is great. Looking forward to family time, vacation, and a weekend can be great. Greatness can come in small packages. 
Look for greatness today.

Graduations and weddings

I am scrambling around for cards, gifts and outfits to wear appropriate to the various occasions. Some events even involve pot luck creations and efforts to out-do the delectable fare arriving from a wide range of relatives and guests. 
'Tis the season to celebrate--and yes, it's about 6 months until Christmas.
When did we start buying gifts and cards for preschool graduations, kindergarten "advancements" and moves from grade school to middle school? A year doesn't go by without somebody graduating from something.  And weddings? I've seen wedding planning efforts last longer than the marriages. 
Still, I am glad to celebrate, especially when people publicly declare their love.
It is marvelous to mark these wonderful transitions of life, even if some of them are not as long-lived or as significant to us as we wish they could be.
Brides and grooms and graduates of June, may you always feel the joy-filled hope that these special occasions engender.  May the gifts you receive at your parties be friendships worth keeping and memories to treasure.

Did you miss me?

Summer is back! Did you miss the warmer days, with colleagues describing vacations soon to be enjoyed? If you, like many busy people, are surprised that it's vacation season again, join me! I don't know where spring went and I'm still thinking about April showers which seemed mostly nonexistent in California.
True, summer doesn't officially start until June 21, the summer solstice. Nonetheless, Memorial Day picnics signaled the start of summer for many. Kids are graduated, and most are looking forward to the transition from school bells to lazy, option-filled days.
If you live higher on the globe, your days are significantly longer. Better start thinking about your 10 p.m. fireworks shows for Independence Day.  You won't want to miss them.
As I marvel at the march of time, I embrace the joy of knowing that if I missed something this summer, soon it will be summer 2013.  No guarantees that we will all be around next summer, but perhaps the freer days of warmer months will descend upon us with delight. Let this summer offer some modicum of peace to each of us.

Longing to achieve something great

The dinner dishes are done, the evening walk complete. The list of chores looms large against the tantalizing options for mindless entertainment. How will I choose to spend the remainder of the evening? TV reality shows or laundry?  Checking Facebook or writing someone who is facing a major life challenge?
I talk to so many busy professionals during the day who are working as hard as they can, but still falling behind in their emails, appointments, and voice mails.  It's the second day of May and we are already booked solid through mid-June.  We  look for ways to maximize our effectiveness and achieve something great. But some days, I would be happy just to achieve something, however small.
I spoke to someone on the phone today who just needed to talk. I pushed back from the computer, and 15 minutes later, we both felt better.  I think I achieved something great.

Is it your birthday?

How do you celebrate the day you came to life? Presents? Special foods? Perhaps you spoil yourself just a bit.  You let people wish you well. Smiles abound. These are ways that people acknowledge what a great gift it is to be alive.
What if you lived every day as if it were your birthday? In other words, what if each day you watched for people to say something nice, you smiled more, and you expected to find some present before the 24 hours was up?
Another way I like to celebrate when it's my birthday is to do some kindness for another person. That way, I can feel that I myself am the gift to another person's life.
if your mom is alive, call her, and thank her for going to all the trouble to give birth to you.
And may your birthday become a birthyear of celebrations.

Great expectations

The Dickens novel by this title includes some colorful characters, including an orphan who aspires to be a gentleman. What expectations govern your week?
Do expectations interfere with what reasonably can be accomplished thanks to the interruptions, errands, and obligations of today?
People like me who find themselves too busy frequently expect that they can fit more deeds into a day than is humanly possible. We have great expectations.
Count the hours in the day, and count the tasks on the list. Revise, edit, and see if you can let go of that "too busy" feeling" by giving yourself permission to have reasonable expectations instead  of great ones. You just may find that this allows you to do one thing great.

Make time for someone

Isn't that a strange expression we hear all the time?
"George, can you make some time to review this report?"
George walks into the back room at work and prints up some time on the Time Manufacturing Counterfeiting Equipment, right? If only!
We call it making time, but really we are clearing away the clutter in the moment to move an item up our priority list.
Time dissipates, and we never seem to have as much as we want of it. Like greedy trick or treaters, who long to grab a handful of candy out of the proffered bucket, we cry for more. Since too much time on our hands is not a frequent occurrence for most people in this culture, we need to corral time to make it work for us.
And perhaps the most important way of making time work for us is to allow another person to take some time out of our "treat bag."
When I make time to help someone out, the reward is beyond measuring. And some day, when I need someone to make time for me in my "time of need", hopefully someone will return the favor.

Down with UGH.

Old habits die hard, they say, but what about archaic language? How long did it take to eradicate thee and thou from our vocabulary?

I thot about it at length. My thots lead to other thots

Why do we allow our thots to be invaded by negative impulses? Ugh. Don’t you think the word thot looks much prettier without it?We have to watch out where our thots drift into ugh.

Just think of all the keystrokes we would save if everyone stopped putting negative thoughts into their thots? Maybe we could change the planet! Maybe we can start a new word ecology. Think of the ink saved on all the printouts throughout the world.  Might we even save paper, and thus trees? 

If we start small with our thots, that will change actions. Often thots lead to actions.

Of course, the whole written language could use an overhaul. We have wasted letters everywhere. But it would be hard to get everyone to agree to pitching ughs and other hangers-on wherever they appear. I am just advocating starting small.

(I for one am grateful for people who text message are helping move to a more streamlined language. Some would call it a revolution.)

Perhaps we could easily do the same thing with through.  Who needs an ugh when they think something thru? Especially in thru traffic, it would be nice to eliminate one of the ughs during rush hour.

 I love taking UGH out of thought. I am hoping it goes viral. Don't we have enough ugh in our life without adding it to our thots? We are already overwrought, for too long have fought, too much have we bought and too often have sought. Plenty of extra ughs there.

You better be happy!

Life deals us certain circumstances that we cannot sidestep. True, some of our busy days are the result of poor choices on our part. But we live in a busy world, surrounded by busy people, and this reality will not change overnight. So we need to not only make the best of it, but choose to be happy within it. How we approach the busy world with its inevitable pressures determines whether we are happy or not. Do you get angry at the bird strike on your car, or do you smile that the old car is able to get you where you need to go? Do you watch your blood pressure rise as you play "beat the clock", or do you take a deep breath and enjoy the roller coaster ride?
Find the happiness within the frenetic.  It is there. You may have to hunt for it. Between the hectic and the chaos, you will find it. Ah! There it is! The glimmer of delight! The reason for joy!
We cannot control life. We can determine to see the beauty. The tree with branches just beginning to bud. A cloud  shaped like a rabbit slowly edging across the sky. Leaves emerging from tulip bulbs hidden for months.
What you focus on will grow. Sort of like when you buy a new car, and suddenly you see that specific make and model everywhere you go.  Choose to notice beauty, smiles, joy, nature, and reasons to give thanks.

Are you happy being busy? You better be! Because all you have is what you have.
 Don't be too busy to see what can make you happy in the very trials of today.

Marching into March

Have I been too busy to post some news here? Or have I just forgotten my priorities?  Oops.
A new month began yesterday- March is the third month, which means the year is one quarter gone. What??!!? Didn't I just say Happy New Year?
Admittedly, I am rushing things here; after all, March has just begun to march. But I recognize my pattern in life; the days march past and before I know it, I will be saying Happy New Year again.
I take a deep breath. Join me in that. Another deep breath. Let us appreciate the breadth of our lives and the joy in this moment.
Perhaps now is the time to look backwards at my future plan. Am I living the vision I hold up for my life?

Are you living the 200 year plan?

Are you living as if you will be on this planet another 200 years? Many of us live today as if we had an unlimited future here.  At my quilters group, someone brought in all the unfinished projects of a woman who had passed away. Lots of beautiful scraps lay on the table, and I began to pick up greedily a pile of beautiful fabrics and lone quilt squares. An 80-year-old woman in our group, a woman of charming wisdom, said, "I would have to live another 200 years to finish the projects I  already have in my sewing room at home! I certainly can't take on any more of these projects."
She caused me to pause. I, too, have a sewing cupboard full of ideas, patterns, fabrics, and inspirations. With all I already have, I would need to live perhaps another 100 years to complete most of them. And so I edited the pile of scraps in my hand to a select few, but the words of my wise quilter friend repeated themselves in my mind all week long.
What if each of us lived as if we only had another 200 days on the earth? What changes would you make to what you will do today? What if you were only to live another 20 days? What would you have wanted to do today?  What if 20 hours from now you get hit by a bus? What would you have wanted to do in the next 20 hours?
I think about my daughter going through my sewing stash, tossing scraps with a shake of her head. "What in the world was mother thinking when she saved this?" I can see her opening a drawer and saying, "What did mother have in mind when she held on to these?"  If I were present, I would tell her that those labels are going to make a fabulous postage stamp quilt some day.  But will some day ever arrive?
I suspect that busy people like me overestimate what they can accomplish, making lists where half the items carry over, undone, onto tomorrow's list.
What do you have stuffed into a drawer, collecting dust in a corner, or waiting in a closet for your attention? Think about my wise quilter friend, and do something important today! 
What do you feel is important? A kind word to a stranger that pays itself forward in other kindnesses will transform the world over time. A smile instead of a self centered, stressed out comment can brighten someone's entire day.
None of us will be here 200 years from now. So make today a day of looking for the beauty, seeking out the sweetness hidden somewhere within the next 200 seconds. 

Be kind.

Who did you meet today? I mean who did you speak to that you never spoke to before? Did you add a smile to someone else's day? Perhaps you were kind to someone in line at the supermarket, or chatted in a friendly way while you waiting for an appointment.
What if that chance encounter provided the unknown other with just the energy they needed to go forward? 
Is kindness in such ample supply that we don't have to spread any more around? Are we in the habit of doing it out sparingly to strangers?
Or is kindness something we have to multiply by making an effort to demonstrate it in public? I suspect that the latter is true. If so, we can make a brighter world.

Happy New Year

It's January 3rd and a glance at the wall calendar reveals no surprise: It still shows November.
So what if I am a little behind? It happens to the best of us.I engaged in the expected and beloved rituals of the Christmas season, from baking to wrapping, even though my first cards went into the mail today.
It's time for a new year while the residual of the old still sits in stacks on my desk.  When will I learn to scale back the expectations for what I can accomplish in a day, or a month?
It is time to turn over a new leaf. So I rotate the calendar pages. First I glance at the birthdays on the December page, wondering how many received greetings, and I move on to January. 
Yes, my Christmas decorations are all still in place, and will be for another week. Why rush?  I savor the memories of holidays just lived. It is not easy to let go.